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Ironic Times

 NO. 1024 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 18 - 24, 2020 

May 11
May 25
“TRUMP DEATH CLOCKS” POPPING UP ALL OVER
A furious Trump tweets: “They're running way too fast!”
 
WORLD NEWS
South Korea: Coronavirus Tracking App Exposes Cheating Partners
Even if they're practicing social distancing.
 
POLL
Only 51% of Republicans Would
Take Coronavirus Vaccine

Rest would rather drink bleach.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Shanghai Disneyland Reopens
Visitors must social distance, avoid contact with mice.
U. S. NEWS
Trump Boasts About 12.5 Million Tests for Coronavirus
Includes 6 million in West Wing.
White House Worried About
What Will Happen if Trump
Becomes Infected, Incapacitated

Equally panicked: Twitter.
 
REMINDER
  Give me liberty or give me hydroxychloroquine.
 
Report: White House Trying
To Lower Death Rates by
Changing Counting Method

Fingers and toes will replace computer databases.
 
POLITICS
23% of Republicans Think
GOP Should Nominate
Someone Other Than Trump

Their top three choices: Kanye West, Michael Flynn, My Pillow guy.
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