Ironic Times

 NO. 297 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 22 - 28, 2006 

May 15
May 29
SENATORS AGREE HAYDEN “RIGHT MAN” FOR JOB
Missed warnings of 9/11 attack, ran illegal spy operation, but follows orders.
 
WORLD NEWS
Putin Encourages Russians to
Have More Children

And fewer elections.
First Signs of Normalcy Return to Afghanistan
Taliban resumes public executions.
Castro Denies Report He's
Extremely Rich

“I'm comfortable,” he says.
 
POLL
Half Think Congress Corrupt
Other half on the take.
 
PEOPLE
'08 Presidential Race Heats Up
Condi (right) may already have leg up on Hillary.
U. S. NEWS
Border Patrol to Be Heavily Outsourced
Many will come from just across border.
Major News Media Becoming
More Skeptical, Independent

All gov't press releases subject to rigorous spell check before publication.
 
REMINDER
  Don't burn the flag at your gay wedding while cursing in Spanish.
 
English Declared “National” Language
Newspeak declared “official” language.
Airport Security Now Looking For Unusual Behavior
Passengers acting overly humble, gracious or kind taken to cordoned-off area to be thoroughly searched.
 
MEDIA
Mag: Bush Hopes to Make
“Saving Iran” His Legacy

Would replace his current legacy, “Destroying Planet.”
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   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times