Ironic Times

 NO. 244 "Expect the Ironic" MAY 16 - 22, 2005 

May 9
May 23
 
BUSH NOT TOLD OF CODE RED EVACUATION OF CAPITOL
President could not be disturbed, was re-reading “The Pet Goat.”
 
WORLD NEWS
Crusades Movie Opens to
Blah B.O. in Middle East

Studio cites good weather, tough competition, other factors in film's lackluster performance.
Cuba Announces Military Base Closings
Guantanamo tops list.
British Document Confirms
Pre-War Intelligence “Fixed”

Revelation reportedly surprises several people.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Rolling Stones Announce Next Tour
The “I Can't Believe They're Still Able to Walk Without Assistance” tour kicks off this summer.
 
U. S. NEWS
Bush Administration Reorganizes Again
Federal judges will be hired by Director of Homeland Judiciary, eliminating divisive confirmation battles.
Analysis: Bolton Will Shake
Things Up at UN

For starters, translators better tell him what he wants to hear.
 
REMINDER
   Slightly overweight is the new thin.
 
EPA Puts Lead-Paint
Regulations on Hold

Agency wants to see “many more examples” of mental retardation before it takes action.
Surprising Report: Government
Computers Hacked

Had been thought too obsolete to be hacked.
 
MILESTONES
World Leaders Gather to
Mark “V-I Day”

Parades, pageantry mark second year since Iraq war declared officially over.
 
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