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Ironic Times

 NO. 815 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 16 - 22, 2016 

May 9
May 23
 
  OBAMA SNAPS SELFIE AT
WHITE HOUSE

Wants proof to show his poker buddies years from now when one of them doesn't believe he was ever president.
 
WORLD NEWS
North Korean State Media Releases High Resolution
Un-Retouched Headshots of Kim, Other Top Party Officials

In response to “relentless demand” from North Korea's numerous fan magazines.
Saudi Arabia Struggles to Move Away From Oil-Dependent Economy
Only other export: terrorism.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
ISIS Releases App for Kids
Like Candy Crush, but crueler.
U. S. NEWS
Trump Denies Posing as Own
Spokesman in 90's Phone
Calls to Reporters

“Total lies! Mr. Trump is fantastic!” current spokesman shouts in phone call from unlisted number in Florida.
TSA Collected Over $760,000
In Unclaimed Cash Left at
Airports Last Year

And over 284,000 belts.
 
REMINDER
  History is written by the winners with a book deal.
 
Cambridge, Mass: 150 Scientists
Meet in Secret About Creating a
Synthetic Human Genome

And another one for its bride.
Lawmakers Trying to Determine How Much Marijuana Too Much for Drivers
One proposal: offer them Oreos, if they eat more than twenty, book 'em.
 
POLITICS
If Trump Wins, Christie Will Head Trump's Transition Team
If he loses, Christie will head team of doormen at Trump Tower.
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