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Ironic Times

 NO. 752 “Expect the Ironic” MARCH 2 - 8, 2015 

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ISIS MILITANTS SMASH PRICELESS ANCIENT ARTIFACTS IN IRAQ
In hopes of attracting more alienated teenagers from Minnesota.
 
WORLD NEWS
UN: Only 35% of Those in Custody
In Afghanistan Are Tortured,
Down From 49% in 2011

Progress!
Britain First Nation to Allow
Three-Parent Babies

And three mothers-in-law.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
  Study Finds Alcohol Most Dangerous, Marijuana Least Dangerous Recreational Drug
Calls for stiff penalties for anyone found in possession of half a gram of beer.
U. S. NEWS
CPAC Brings All Republican
Presidential Hopefuls Together
In One Place

Making it year's largest gathering of climate change deniers.
Pot Now Legal in Washington, D.C.
White House to host “Choom Gang” reunion.
 
REMINDER
  'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have tried online dating at all.
 
Report: 60 Million Metric Tons
Of Food Worth $162 Billion
Wasted Each Year

According to your mother.
New Jersey Suddenly Settles $9 Billion Suit With Exxon for Just $250 Million
After Governor and future Exxon board member Chris Christie steps in to help.
 
POLITICS
Scott Walker: I'll Deal With ISIS Just Like I Dealt With Unions
By cutting off their pensions.
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