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Ironic Times

 NO. 829 “Expect the Ironic” AUGUST 22 - 28, 2016 

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  NAKED TRUMP STATUES BEGIN POPPING UP EVERYWHERE
 
  Indication new campaign team has taken over.
 
POLITICS
Trump-Clinton Race Affecting Marriages
Typically, one spouse favors Trump while the other moves to Vancouver.
Clinton Health “Truthers” Question Her Physical Stamina
Also her gender, planet of origin.
Trump's Electoral Map Shrinking
Desperate campaign pouring resources into Rhode Island, Guam.
U. S. NEWS
DOJ to Stop Using Private Prisons
They'll be available once again for parties, special occasions and music videos.
Trump Proposes “Extreme Vetting” of Immigrants to Make Sure They “Share Our Values”
Our values: Distrust, Fear, Xenophobia.
 
REMINDER
  School is open, program your car to drive carefully.
 
NSA Hacked, Probably by Russia
Fortunately, we hacked them, but they hacked that hack, and we're working on a hack of their hack.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Rio Olympics: Star Athletes Sign Lucrative Commercial Deals
Ryan Lochte (not shown) signs with Lou's Bail Bonds.
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