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Ironic Times

 NO. 824 “Expect the Ironic” JULY 18 - 24, 2016 

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TRUMP NAMES CHRISTIE FIRST RUNNER-UP
He'll assume duties of running mate should Pence be unable to fulfill them.
 
WORLD NEWS
Turkish Coup Fails: Martial Law Declared
Alternate side of the street parking suspended.
Cameron Leaves 10 Downing
Street, But the Cat Will Stay

Cat favored Brexit.
Russia Developing Hypersonic Strategic Bomber Spaceplane
Could be used to deliver passengers and/or nuclear weapons.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
  Who's Who of Republican Party Not Attending Republican Convention
“We're all shampooing our hair,” they explain in joint statement.
U. S. NEWS
Latest Poll: Country Split
Down the Middle

And well-armed.
Release of Once-Classified
Section of 9/11 Report Confirms
Saudi Involvement

We know XXXXXX met with XXXXX and spoke with XXXXXXX.
 
REMINDER
  Maintain your grip on augmented reality.
 
Republican Platform Declares Pornography “Public Health Problem”
Money saved from cancelling Obamacare would be used to stamp out pornography.
FBI: No Longer Seeking D.B. Cooper
“Hoop-di-doo!” tweets @TheRealDBCooper.
 
POLITICS
Cleveland Says It's Ready
For GOP Convention

Clears streets of homeless drunks to make room for Republican drunks.
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