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Ironic Times

 NO. 344 “Expect the Ironic” APRIL 16 - 22, 2007 

Apr 9
Apr 23
CHIQUITA ACCUSED OF FUNNELING MILLIONS TO RIGHT-WING TERRORIST GROUP
Makes full confession after two hours in refrigerator.
 
WORLD NEWS
Mexican President Proposes
“Guest Employer Program”

Would allow American employers already running sweatshops in Mexico to remain in Mexico after paying small fine.
UK: Blair Blames Wave of London Murders on “Black Culture”
Particularly modern jazz.
 
POLITICS
Presidential Hopefuls Eye
Weak GOP Field

Ready to jump in: Harold Stassen.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Attorney General Gonzales's Family Speaks Out
Wants him to spend more time with them.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Speech Reaffirming Iraq Policy Received Favorably
By Southern Evangelical Christian Veterans Against Evolution, Abortion and Homosexuals.
White House Admits It Lost
Thousands of E-Mails Pertaining to Firing of U.S. Attorneys

“Thought it was spam.”
 
REMINDER
  We're living in the golden age of Constitutional crises.
 
Funds for Recruitment Bonuses Now Equal to Funds for Jamming Devices to Disable Roadside Bombs
Cheaper to just buy new soldiers.
Bush Willing to Meet With Dems
But not talk with them.
 
JOB OPENING

War Czar. Must have military and/or administrative experience, preferably three-star general or above, capable of coordinating troop movements in two war theaters simultaneously while fending off inquiries from Congress. Start immediately.
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