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Ironic Times

 NO. 674 “Expect the Ironic” AUG 12 - 18, 2013 

Aug 5
Aug 19
OBAMA CANCELS MOSCOW SUMMIT OVER SNOWDEN
Putin responds by activating Doomsday Device.
 
WORLD NEWS
Terror Alert: Tourists Warned to Stay Away From Any American Establishment
Urged to eat more falafel.
U.S. Worldwide Popularity Soars to Pre-Iraq War Levels
Could be our best result until after next war.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Oppressive Heat Waves the New Normal, Say Meteorolgists
So get used to it.
U. S. NEWS
Terror Threat Continues, Say Intelligence Agencies
Won't end until legislation to limit power of intelligence agencies goes away.
Bad News: U.S. Has 5% of World’s Population, 25% Of World’s Prisoners
Good news: they’re not considered unemployed.
 
REMINDER
  Tell the NSA whenever you're going on vacation.
 
House in Boston Where Whitey Bulger Stashed Bodies Now in Upscale Neighborhood
With the greenest lawns.
Factoid: More Than 90% of Adult Americans Have Cell Phones
And they're on them 90% of the time.
 
POLITICS
White House Sides With GOP
Defending Christian Prayers
To Open Town Meetings

But suggests “Dear Lord, save us from the Antichrist Obama” goes too far.
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