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Ironic Times

 NO. 361 “Expect the Ironic” AUGUST 13 - 19, 2007 

Aug 6
Aug 20
 
REPORT: CHENEY ITCHING TO INVADE IRAN
Could end up being just him and a couple of hunting buddies.
 
WORLD NEWS
Musharraf May Declare State of Emergency
Imminent threat he may not be reelected.
U.S. Anti-Drug Strategy in Afghanistan To Use Carrot and Stick
Farmers who do not switch to growing carrots will be beaten with sticks.
 
CAMPAIGN '08
Thompson, Giuliani Swap Wives
Move not expected to hurt either's chances.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Olmert Hopeful New Negotiations Will Lead to Palestinian State
Also hopeful next Pope will be Jewish.
U. S. NEWS
Secret Plan Has Troops in Iraq
Until 2009

Ultra-secret plan has them there until 2011.
Bush's Poll Numbers Hit All-Time Low
Bush declares a War on Polls.
Computer Security Breach at IRS
Agency has since changed password from “password” to something less obvious.
 
REMINDER
  Be sure to boil all bottled water.
 
190,000 Guns Given by U.S. to
Iraqi Security Forces Missing

“Damnedest thing,” says baffled Pentagon spokesman.
FBI Relaxes Rules on Hiring Former Pot Smokers
Then arrests them.
 
BOOKS
Jenna, Laura Writing Children's Book
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad President due out in 2008.
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