Ironic Times

 NO. 204 "Expect the Ironic" AUGUST 9 - 15, 2004

Aug 2
Aug 16
 
BUSH DENIES CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH SAUDIS
“We've only held hands,” he says.
WORLD NEWS
 
England Names First Court Jester Since 1649
Cabinet-level post will have full authority over all intelligence agencies.
 
ECONOMY
Durable Goods Spending
Down 5.9% in June

Spending on flimsy, breakable goods rises 6.3%.
 
ELECTION '04
Springsteen, Dixie Chicks, R.E.M., Bonnie Raitt, Other Stars to Tour For Kerry.
Dennis Miller taking guitar lessons, will tour for Bush.
U. S. NEWS
Latest Terror Alert: Americans
Urged to Stay Home, Pray

And don't vote.
Stock Exchange Expands Electronic Trading, Curtails Floor Trading
Will greatly speed up fraudulent transactions.
 
REMINDER
   Your vote counts, if you live in a
   swing state.
 
Bad News: Economy Continued
To Replace Good Jobs With
Bad Jobs in July

Good news: there were only 32,000 new bad jobs.
Latest Terror Alert Based on Information Three Years Old
Which is in itself pretty terrifying.
 
POLITICS
Profile of Undecided Voter
Beginning to Emerge

Male, 45, college graduate, divorced, same job for fourteen years, lives in a second-floor apartment, 1114 Euclid St., Cincinnati, Ohio, with two dogs and a goldfish named Nemo.
FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE

   Copyright 2004 Ironic Times