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Ironic Times

 NO. 569 “Expect the Ironic” AUGUST 8 - 14, 2011 

Aug 1
Aug 15
 
MARKET GETS READY FOR ANOTHER WILD RIDE
Please don't talk to the driver.
 
WORLD NEWS
Report: U.S. Has Emergency
Plan to Seize All of Pakistan's
Nuclear Weapons

They would be wrapped in sheets and dumped into Arabian Sea.
China Orders Media to Ignore
Bullet Train Catastrophe

Asks for more whimsical pieces about last party congress.
Royals Living Frugally: Newlyweds William, Catherine Fly Coach
Accept $400 for getting bumped.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Saudi Arabia to Build World's Tallest Building
Architect's model will be 14th tallest.
 
U. S. NEWS
Standard and Poor's Downgrades
Our Credit Rating

Calls us gonifs.
Dow Tumbles 513 Points on Thursday
Oil, gas down; gold, ramen up.
30th Anniversary of Last Double-Dip Recession Honored
With a double-dip recession.
 
REMINDER
  Today's jobless are tomorrow's long-term unemployed.
 
Mysterious Firm Gives Romney Campaign $1 Million, Then Dissolves
Candidate says, “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”
Sales of Luxury Goods Soar
Sales of necessities plummet.
 
POLLS
CNN Poll Shows Congress’
Approval Now at 14%

Slightly below Al Qaeda.
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