 POPE COMES OUT AGAINST
MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION
“But who am I to judge?” he
says, munching on a brownie. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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U.S. Denies It's Trying to
Get Rid of Maliki
In fact, we just sent him a box of Havana cigars. |
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China Announces New
Crackdown on Press
Things improve immediately, says Beijing Times. |
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India: Modi's Victory Signals
Shift Away From English as
Primary Language
Westerners advised to learn Hindi
if they need tech support. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 All Cars Recalled
Global temperatures return to normal. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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VA Paid Out $2.8 Million
In “Performance Awards” to
Execs Who Misrepresented
Wait Times
Also handed out “Best Performance”
statuettes at million dollar awards gala. |
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California Jobless Rate Sinks
To 7.6%, Recovering Almost
All Jobs Lost in Recession
From “You want fries with that?” to
“Hot sauce or mild?” |
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| REMINDER |
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The unsalaried intern of today
is the unpaid volunteer of tomorrow. |
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Study: LA on Verge of Becoming Major
“Walkable” Urban Area
All it needs is pedestrians. |
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| POLITICS |
 |
 Ted Cruz
Renounces His Canadian Citizenship
Will maintain Martian citizenship. |
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