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MORE
TROUBLE FOR BUSH
He's drinking again. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Pakistan's Military Ruler
Wins Close
Election by One Vote
Casts only vote for himself. |
|
Europe Still Glowing One
Week After Bush Visit
Basking in renewed sense of superiority. |
|
North Korea Sets Conditions
For Talks With Bush
Bush must come to the meeting alone, with
a bag full of money, dressed as a duck. |
|
Report: Half of World's
Languages Will Disappear by 2100
English already toast. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
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STILL
MORE TROUBLE FOR BUSH
White House has no comment. |
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|
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
Bush Says He'll Veto
Patients'
Bill of Rights
Urges passage of HMO's Bill of
Rights. |
|
Administration Plan Will
Increase Miles Per Gallon
For US Autos
Program reduces official length of "mile." |
|
AOL-Microsoft Talks Collapse
War is imminent. |
| |
 REMINDER
Get involved,
join a cult. |
|
|
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| POLITICS |
|
Dems Search for Candidate in
'04
Looking for poor achiever, ne'er-do-well
with DUI's, limited intelligence. |
|
Republicans Seize McCain
Senator held in big tent as POW. |
| |
| ACADEMIA |
|
Respected Historian Admits
Fabricating Own History
A public apology is issued by the
Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Jefferson
and Truman at Appomattox, and Madison,
The Man Who Invented Advertising. |
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