| |
 BUSH HOSTS
UNVEILING OF CLINTON
PORTRAIT
Intends to display it prominently in
small room “just off the Oval
Office.” |
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Afghanistan's President Thanks America
Opium sales “going through the
roof,” Karzai tells Bush. |
| |
| U. S. NEWS |
|
9/11 Panel: Al Qaeda Had
Nothing to Do With Iraq
Until we invaded. |
|
Administration Rescinds Policy
Cutting Food Stamps to Poor Who
Use Medicare Prescription Cards
After learning people were eating the
cards. |
|
Supreme Court Allows "Under God"
To Remain in Pledge
"I'm going to Disneyland,"
jokes God. |
|
 |
“Ramblin'” John
Kerry Releases First Album
Middle-of-the-road lyrics support
war, abortion; oppose tax cuts,
gay marriage. |
|
|
|
| IRONIC TIMES FEATURE |
| Profile of Key Voter
Block |
| On November 2nd, a
relatively small group of swing
voters, called "Persuadables" by
experts, will decide the
election. Here is how these
voters describe themselves: |
 |
They go to church, but not as
often as they should. |
|
They read the newspaper, but not
as frequently as they ought to. |
|
They're faithful to their
spouses, but not completely. |
|
They vote, but not as
consistently as they would like
to. |
|
They're not very familiar with
the candidates, but hope to learn
more sometime. |
|
They pay their bills, but not
always on time. |
|
They don't cheat on their taxes,
except now and then. |
|
They'd like to learn more about
the issues, but just don't have the time. |
|
|
|
| |
 |
|
