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Ironic Times

 NO. 958 “Expect the Ironic” FEBRUARY 11 - 17, 2019 

Feb 4
Feb 18
PRINCE PHILIP, 97, GIVES UP HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE
From now on, the Queen will do all the driving.
 
WORLD NEWS
Second Trump-Kim Summit
Set for Vietnam

Trump will stay at five-star Hanoi Hilton.
Ex-Costa Rican President and
Nobel Laureate Oscar Arias
Accused of Sexual Assault

Accuser says Arias invited her up to his apartment “to see his Nobel Prize.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Trump Says He'll “Build a Human Wall If Necessary”
Like “Hands Across America.”
U. S. NEWS
Mitch McConnell: Dem Proposal to Make Election Day a Holiday a “Power Grab”
“First blacks, then women, and now this!” he exclaims.
Senate Rebukes President for Troop Withdrawals from Syria, Afghanistan
But praises him for sending them to El Paso.
 
REMINDER
  Better wait until the Mueller report comes out before getting that Trump tattoo.
 
Leaked: “Executive Time” Makes Up 60% of Trump's Day
Remaining 40%: TV is off.
Trump Inaugural Committee Subpoenaed to Turn Over Documents
Turns out he did have largest crowd ever — of foreign lobbyists.
 
POLL
12% of Adults “Never Heard
of” Vice President Mike Pence

More than half wish they never had.
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