Ironic Times

NO. 22 "Expect the Ironic" FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2001

Feb 5
Feb 19
POWELL TO MIDEAST: "MAKE PEACE OR EAT A KNUCKLE SANDWICH"
WORLD NEWS
Shuttle Mistakenly Docks With Wrong Space Station
“We don't know who these guys are,” says astronaut before communicaction is cut off.
UN Welcomes Coca Republic
as New Member State
Will pay dues in small bills.
 
BUSINESS
Sun Purchased by Moon
Computer giant now part of Unification Church.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
RUSSIA, NEEDING CASH, WILL ANIMATE LENIN
He'll wave while singing, “It's a Small World.”
U. S. NEWS
Missile Defense Shield Will
Bust Budget, Cause New Arms
Race, Won't Work
But no other problems expected.
Rich Say They Need Bush Tax Cut
Point to high price of diamonds, yachts, caviar.
Liddy Now Says Watergate
Break-In "Dean's Idea"
Also claims McGovern ordered bombing of Cambodia.
Insiders Say Laura Bush “Calls All the Shots”
First Lady tells President who to shoot.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Government Will Charge Rent in National Parks to Bears, Elk
“Free ride over” says Interior Sec. Norton.
 
LAW
Road Rage Was Justified, Says O.J.
“Other guy was driving way too slow on freeway,” he claims.
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