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Ironic Times

 NO. 804 “Expect the Ironic” FEB 29 - MAR 6, 2016 

Feb 22
Mar 7
TRUMP GETS HIS FIRST CONGRESSIONAL ENDORSEMENT
Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), a crack addict, jumps on bandwagon.
 
WORLD NEWS
Beijing New “Billionaire Capital of the World” With 100; New York Has 95, Moscow 66
Mao new fastest-spinning dead person, with Marx, Lenin tied for second.
Iran Adds $600,000 Bounty for Death of Salman Rushdie, Making it $4 Million
In Iran, killing Salman Rushdie equivalent to winning Powerball Lottery.
 
ENVIRONMENT
New Estimate: Seas May Rise
3 to 4 Feet by 2100

Surfers “stoked.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Cruz Campaign Disavows Racist Artist's Work
Drops him from payroll.
U. S. NEWS
After Months of Trying, FBI Still Unable to Unlock Encrypted iPhone
May finally have to give up, admit defeat, go out and get some kid to do it.
Senate Republicans Won't
Meet to Consider Obama
Supreme Court Nominee

If they do meet, it will be to draft another repeal of Obamacare.
 
REMINDER
  No, you're not in an implausible movie about an egomaniac billionaire who becomes president.
 
New Poll: Nearly 20% of Trump Voters Think Freeing the Slaves After Civil War a Bad Idea
And the South should not have surrendered.
New York Lawmaker's Bill Bans Food Stamp Purchases of Steak, Lobster
Lets them eat cake.
 
POLITICS
Bernie Sanders Action Figure Selling Like Hotcakes
After gathering dust on toy store shelves for years.
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