Ironic Times

 NO. 129 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 3 - 9, 2003 

Feb 25
Mar 10
 
  Saddam Debates Bush Before Worldwide TV Audience
Analysts give edge to Iraqi leader on substance, Bush on style.
 
WORLD NEWS
UN Not Living Up to its Responsibilities, Says Bush
Most members overly concerned with peace.
Rumsfeld Proposes Change to NATO
Would become NEATO (Not Everyone Atlantic Treaty Organization), with France, Germany, and Belgium excluded.
 
POLITICS
New Rules Designed to Reduce Crowded Field of Democratic Hopefuls
They'll live together for one month, with cameras recording their every move.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
U.S. Pledges Continued Presence in Afghanistan
We'll continue to provide western values and culture.
U. S. NEWS
Report: Bush Would Reverse 30-Year Policy, Have Saddam Assassinated
And give Kim Jong Il a wedgie.
Terror Alert Level Lowered to Yellow
Public can go back to just being scared.
Bush Proposes Privatizing Federal Government
Would be run like professional baseball team; might trade Powell for some pitching.
 
REMINDER
   In your own small way you've been
   destroying the planet.
 
Georgia Senator Attacks CBS for Planned Hillbilly Reality Show
Demands something less insulting, "like Amos 'n Andy."
Bush Administration Solves
Problems Found in Tests of
Missile Defense Shield

Will deploy system without further testing.
Chicago Tribune: Jerry Springer
May Run for Senate in Ohio

Hopes to elevate current level of debate.
 
ENVIRONMENT
EPA Orders Removal of
"No Smoking" Signs From
National Parks

Part of program to control forest overgrowth.
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