Ironic Times

NO. 24 "Expect the Ironic" FEB. 26 - MAR. 4, 2001

Feb 19
Mar 5
MORE TROUBLE FOR CLINTON
Brother-in-law may have eaten the $400,000.
WORLD NEWS
UN Will Offer "50% Off" Deals to New Countries
But for “limited time only.”
Balkans Quiet for Now
Rival ethnic groups slowly rebuilding stores of resentment, hatred for future.
 
LAW
Civilians Made Florida Decision for Supreme Court, Records Show
Wealthy Republicans on publicity tour were "closely supervised" by Chief Justice, others.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
BUSH PASSES FIRST TEST AS PRESIDENT
Gets a B on surprise math quiz.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Found Playing in War Room
"Must not, and will not happen again," pledges Cheney.
FBI: Spy Was First Quadruple-Agent
Spied for U.S., but at the same time spied for Russia while secretly working as counterspy for the U.S.—or Russia.
New Denials by Navy in Sub Accident
Drunken brawl between civilians and crew "not a factor," Admiral claims.
Reagan Voted "Greatest"
President in Gallup Poll
Also voted "greatest" actor.
 
REMINDER
You're only as old as you look.
 
SCIENCE
Human Brain Cell Inserted into Mouse
Mouse demands to know why other mice are getting more food pellets, sex.
 
RELIGION
81% of Americans Believe
In Afterlife
But only 68% believe you get there in a boat guided by a demon with the head of a dog.
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