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Ironic Times

 NO. 764 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 25 - 31, 2015 

May 18
Jun 1
IRELAND: GAY COUPLES THRILLED AS COUNTRY VOTES TO LEGALIZE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
However, they'll have to go to Scotland if they want to get divorced.
 
WORLD NEWS
Discovered Among Bin Laden's Papers: Al Qaeda Job Applications
Questions include, “Do you wish to execute a suicide mission?” and “How many virgins will you require in Paradise?”
 
TECHNOLOGY
Microsoft Study: Average Human Attention Span Eight Seconds
Which means you've already moved on to another story.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Obama Opens Own Twitter Account
First tweet: “Drone strike successfully wipes out ISIL compound in Syria.”
U. S. NEWS
Congress Goes on Short Break
Without Renewing Patriot Act

On May 31st, at midnight, you can speak freely.
Obama Bars Transfers of Weaponized Aircraft, Bayonets, Grenade Launchers, Armored Vehicles That Run on Tracks to Local Police
Because they may not need all of that to protect community from unarmed black teens running away.
 
REMINDER
  Androids are humanoids too.
 
Air Bag Maker Issues Recall for 34 Million Bags in BMWs, Hondas, Chryslers, Daimler Trucks, Fords, GMs, Mazdas, Mitsubishis, Nissans, Subarus, Toyotas
Not affected: horses.
South Carolina Passes Bill Requiring All Cops Wear Body Cameras
Be sure to smile when you're pulled over.
 
POLITICS
Poll: Only 1% Have Never
Heard of Hillary Clinton

And say they'll never hear of her.
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