Ironic Times

 NO. 141 "Expect the Ironic" MAY 26 - JUNE 1, 2003 

May 19
June 2
 
UN LIFTS SANCTIONS ON “IRAQ”
“Iraq” now free to pump, sell “Iraq's” oil.
 
WORLD NEWS
Iraqi Government Workers
Finally Paid

They get dollars, but demand payment in more dependable dinars.
U.S. Forces Begin Confiscating Automatic Weapons from Iraqis
They're just not ready for democracy yet.
U.S. Troops Capture “Dr. Germ,” “Mrs. Anthrax”
Still looking for “Colonel Mustard Gas.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Canada's Chretien Tries to Allay “Mad Cow” Fears
Eats steak at Toronto restaurant, then bolts, stampeding wildly through streets before being roped and sedated.
U. S. NEWS
Report: Justice Dept. Detained
Fewer Than 50 Without Charges
Under Patriot Act

They're all in the Senate.
Bush Promotes Thinning of Forests
It will mean “fewer trees for bad guys to hide behind.”
Pentagon's New Spying System
Stores Massive Amounts of Data

Everything from your spending habits to the magazines you hide in the bottom drawer, under the green sweater.
 
REMINDER
    The Great Depression lasted
    only eight or nine years.
 
White House Urges Senate to
Raise Debt Ceiling

And lower glass ceiling.
Bad News: 1 of Every 11 Florida High School Seniors Flunks Graduation Test
Good news: remaining 75% pass.
 
HIGH TECH
Playboy, Nokia in Deal to Download Playmate Pics on Cellphones
No word yet how this will effect car insurance rates.
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