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Ironic Times

 NO. 611 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 28 - JUN 3, 2012 

May 21
Jun 4
GREEKS FLOCK TO ORACLE OF DELPHI
They're told that one day soon there will be a run on the banks.
 
WORLD NEWS
Future of European Union in Peril
Border guards brushing up on, “May I see your passport, please?” in six languages.
Russia Tests Missile Designed to Counter U.S. Anti-Missile Missile
U.S. tests anti-anti-missile missile to counter missile to counter anti-missile missile.
Egyptian Presidential Runoff Election Pits “Islamic Fascist” Against “Military Fascist”
May the best man win.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Inventor of Remote Control Dies at 96
Credited long life to never having to get off the couch.
U. S. NEWS
U.S. Ranks First in Wealth,
But Not Happiness

Which we've outsourced.
Average American CEO Made
$10 Million in 2011

If you're making less, complain to your handpicked board of directors.
 
REMINDER
  Vote for the candidate least likely to bully a gay classmate.
 
Report: Lighter Traffic Across
Country in 2011

Experts credit 2010 report predicting heavier traffic.
New York City Parking Spot
Goes for $1 Million

Comes with free cardboard “No Radio” sign.
 
ELECTION2012
Analysts: Election Could Hinge
On One County in One Swing State

Might come down to one man: Abe Brevoort of Lorain, Ohio.
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