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Ironic Times

 NO. 566 “Expect the Ironic” JULY 18 - 24, 2011 

Jul 11
Jul 25
 
UN WORKING GROUP TO MERCENARIES:
YOU NEED TO BE REGULATED
Mercenaries to UN: by you and what army?
 
WORLD NEWS
Former Chinese President Jiang
Zemin Rested at Home During
Recent Rumors of His Death

Now extremely well-rested, stiff as a board.
Leaked Red Cross Report:
Torture to Extract Confessions
Continues in Iraq at Camp Honor

Extrajudicial executions continue at Camp Justice.
Moody’s Cuts Irish Bonds to Junk
Government extends last call two hours.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
CARMAGEDDON
STRIKES LA

Dozens are inconvenienced, several merchants close early, family postpones trip to Sea World.
U. S. NEWS
DOJ Won't Prosecute Those
Responsible for Financial
Meltdown, Torture

May attempt second trial of Roger Clemens.
Panetta: We're Close to
Defeating Al Qaeda

Just waiting for Ayman al-Zawahiri to return signed copies of articles of surrender.
 
REMINDER
  The war in Afghanistan costs only two billion dollars a week.
 
Revealed: Sophisticated Attack
Made on Thousands of Sensitive
Military Files

Thousands of sensitive military files that were placed on computer network rather than in file cabinet.
 
POLITICS
Some GOP Presidential Hopefuls Sign Pledge Including Statement Blacks Better Off During Civil War
And Jews better off during Spanish Inquisition.
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