Ironic Times

 NO. 148 "Expect the Ironic" JULY 14 - 20, 2003 

July 7
July 21
 
SUPREME COURT JUSTICE O'CONNOR TO STAY
Says so over cup of hemlock at White House tea.
WORLD NEWS
World’s Largest French Fry
Sells on EBay for $200

Becomes top story in slow news week.
U.S. Offers $25 Million for Saddam
Saddam offers $50 million for Bush.
Second Saddam Audio Tape Broadcast
Wake Up, Baghdad features former ruler, sons Uday and Qusay, musical guests.
Bush, in Africa, Denounces Slavery
But thinks matter should be left to the states.
 
LAW
Forced Accordion Lessons Unconstitutional
Judge overturns lower court ruling.
U. S. NEWS
President Completes Tour
Of Friendly Countries

Leaves, returns on same day.
Government Losing Battle for Biodefense Experts
Most now working for TV news channels, explaining the threat.
28% of U.S. Highway Bridges Deficient
But you can still drive across remaining 72% without a care in the world.
 
REMINDER
   People who live in glass houses
   shouldn't get stoned.
 
Bush Lands on Aircraft Carrier Abraham Lincoln Again
Declares major news coverage of his lying in State of the Union address over.
Federal Record a Whopping
75,606 Pages

Most of it regulations designed to streamline government.
Cheney Gets Clean Bill of Health
Doctors declare veep fit, but worry that they couldn't detect a conscience.
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