Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 18 - 24, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
House in Movie “Up” Now Selling for $399,000
Perfect pied--terre for an elderly computer-animated widower.
Cuba Says 16% Online
Mainly on Craigslist seeking parts for '58 Chevys.
 
POLL
52% of Adults Currently Have Jobs
Remaining 48% say they're “between jobs.”
 
SPORTS
Owners Happily Settle With Players to Avoid Strike
Lingerie Football League will begin on time.
Bad News: NBA Stars to Play Overseas During Lockout
Good news: could help our balance of trade.
Turkey: Robot World Cup Considered a Success
Despite noisy presence of vuvuzela-playing robots.
FEATURE
Last week the House of Representatives passed the Clean Water Cooperative Federalism Act of 2011. This bill would:
A )Protect our lakes and rivers from water pollution.
B )Help the federal government cooperate with states to keep their water clean.
C )Open up Mars as a toxic waste dump.
D )Gut the Clean Water Act of 1972.
Hint: the Mars thing is a good idea, but too expensive. Guess again.
 
TRAVEL
Airline May Ban Babies in First Class
Cites their immature behavior, lack of consideration for others.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Chicago Honors Marilyn Monroe
And upskirt photographers.

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