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Ironic Times

 NO. 832 “Expect the Ironic” SEPTEMBER 12 - 18, 2016 

Sep 5
Sep 19
 
  NAVY'S NEW $4.4 BILLION STEALTH DESTROYER TO BE COMMISSIONED
On same day Zika funding runs out.
 
WORLD NEWS
North Korean Vice Premier Executed Because He Was Slouching at Meeting
Giving parents another weapon in struggle to make their kids sit up straight.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Scientists: More Realistic
Sexbots Promise Human-Robot Marriages by 2050

Robot-robot marriages by 2075.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Russians Seek Answers for Bright Red “Blood River” in Siberia
Turns out not to be “routine borscht factory mishap” as government first claimed.
U. S. NEWS
Clinton on Life Support
According to Fox News.
Trump Says He'll Greatly
Increase Military Budget

And make Mexico pay for it.
Pittsburgh: Uber Puts 100
Self-Driving Cars Into Service

Great for former Uber drivers who need ride to unemployment office.
 
REMINDER
  History is written by the last guy to edit Wikipedia.
 
Baltimore Residents Upset to Learn Secret Surveillance Planes Have Been Recording Them for Months
“For their own protection,” insists police spokesman, T.J. “Big Brother” Smith.
 
POLITICS
Libertarian Candidate Gary Johnson Stuns With His Answer, “What is Aleppo?”
His guess "sixth Marx Brother" further fails to impress policy wonks.
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