Ironic Times

 NO. 157 "Expect the Ironic" SEPTEMBER 15 - 21, 2003 

Sept 8
Sept 22
WORLD NEWS
MAJOR GLOBAL ISSUES DEBATED AT WTO SUMMIT IN CANCUN
Agricultural subsidies, tariff protection, cheap generic drugs for Third World countries just some of the issues considered by delegates (above).
U.S. Apologizes to United Nations for Calling it “Irrelevant”
Also begs forgiveness for “chocolate makers” quip, “Old Europe” crack, and “cheese eaters” slur.
Porn Returns to Baghdad;
Opium to Afghanistan

Proof U.S. winning war on terrorism.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
World's Largest Salad Served to Thousands
But everyone skips salad and eats world’s largest pizza (not shown).
U. S. NEWS
White House Split on Terror War
Some want to exaggerate achievements, others to overstate threat.
Administration Offers New Explanation for Iraq War
U.S. soldiers protecting homeland by posing as targets for terrorists who might otherwise come here.
 
 
 
Report Accuses Schools of Neglecting Positive Messages About America
Lousy teachers, dumb textbooks, stupid
administrators faulted for negativity.
Snapple Pays $166 Million for Title “Official Beverage of New York City”
Beats out next highest bidder, Sterno.
 
LAW
Egyptian Lawyer Sues Jews for
Plundering Egypt During Exodus;
Jews Threaten Countersuit for
400 Years of Enslavement

Out of court settlement expected.
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