 TRUMP: MY
CROWD BIGGER THAN OBAMA'S
If you count no-shows |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Entire World Observes
Inauguration With Great Interest
As America transitions to a kleptocracy. |
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Finland: New Law Pays Basic
Income to Citizens Who Don't
Earn Enough
Eliciting words of praise from Bernie
Sanders, Pope Francis, Walmart. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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These Eight Men Richer Than
3.6 Billion People
Not shown: 3.6 billion people. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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No Latinos in Trump Cabinet
Besides those who clean it. |
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Trump: “By Far the Highest IQ”
Of Any Cabinet in History
If you don't include Rick Perry, he added. |
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Experts Predict Trump
Era Will Be Fun
Family fun: nationwide game of hide-and-seek
for 11 million undocumented immigrants. |
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| REMINDER |
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We're in a parallel universe
just like ours, except Trump wins. |
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Survey: Six in 10 Americans
Don't Have $500 in Savings to
Cover Unforeseen Expenses
So don't hit them up. |
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CIA Declassifies 930,000
Documents, Posts Them Online
Turns out every UFO sighting, every
report of extraterrestrial contact,
every crazy rumor about aliens being
held in large bulletproof tanks at
Area 51, is true. |
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