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SECOND TERM: MUCH OF
BUSH AGENDA IS FAITH-BASED
However, the devil is in the details. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
 |
Cheney, in Candid Radio
Interview, Hints Iran Next Target
Tells Don Imus he's already started
“pestering the spooks to cook up
some facts.” |
|
Supreme Court Rejects
Last-Minute Challenge to Prayer at
Inauguration
Decides Bush “needs all the help he
can get.” |
|
Alberto Gonzales to Remove
Covering From Breast of Statue
In Dept. of Justice
Orders all statues stripped, piled on top
of each other in lobby. |
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REMINDER
Thirty is the new
twenty. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
|
Iraq Borders Sealed Off
Move prevents foreign insurgents from
entering, coalition troops from leaving. |
|
| FEATURE: |
 |
| March
2003 Presence of Iraqi
WMD force U.S. to invade. |
| March
2003 We win hearts and
minds of Iraqis by bombing their cities. |
| April
2003 We're greeted
as liberators, same 20 Iraqis trucked to
multiple locations to dance
in the streets. |
| April
2003 Rest of citizens express their
joy by widespread looting. |
| May
2003 “Mission Accomplished.” |
| June
2003 U.S. promises to restore
power, water real soon. |
| July
2003 “Bring 'em on!” |
| Dec.
2003 We crush handful of dead-enders
still resisting by capturing Saddam. We will
restore power, water soon. |
| Spring,
2004 We crush insurgency in
Sunni areas, continue search
for WMD. |
| Spring
2004 We crush insurgency again
by torturing prisoners at
Abu Ghraib. |
| June
2004 Interim government takes
over, Iraq now free. |
| Summer
2004 We totally crush insurgency
in Sunni areas, eyes peeled
for WMD. |
| Fall
2004 We annihilate insurgency in
Sunni areas, promise to
restore water, etc. |
| Winter,
2005 No WMD. What the hell. |
| Winter,
2005 Free elections everywhere
but in Sunni areas, where we
prepare to restore water, etc.,
and totally stomp, crush, etc. |
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