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Shown: Secretary of State Kerry skiing to work. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Cameron to Muslim Women:
Improve Your English or You
May Have to Leave UK
And extend your little finger when drinking tea. |
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Saudi Grand Mufti Bans Chess
And its gateway game, checkers. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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New Reconstructed Dinosaur Too
Big for New York's Museum of |
 Natural History
Museum will instead be moved inside dinosaur. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Trump's Poll Numbers Improve
After he shoots someone in the middle of 5th Avenue. |
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Obama May Visit Cuba,
Meet With Castro
Hopes to complete his bucket list while still in office. |
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| REMINDER |
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It's not whether you win or lose,
it's how your fantasy team did. |
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Postal Service Suspends
Saturday Operations Ahead
Of Blizzard
Blames “perfect storm” of snow, rain,
gloom of night. |
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| POLITICS |
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 National Review
Comes Out Strongly Against Trump
Finds his boorish, provocative fearmongering
totally repellant, although it agrees with him. |
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