BOB DYLAN WINS
NOBEL PRIZE IN LITERATURE
Also named Mr. Congeniality. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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British PM Theresa May Says
Brexit to Begin in March 2017
At which time Brits return to diet of
bangers and mash. |
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Report: U.S. 32nd Out of 144 in
Ratings of Best Countries to Be a Girl
Go ahead and gloat that we beat out Chad,
Niger, Mali, and Somalia. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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Landmark Agreement: 170
Nations Agree to Cut Use of
Hydrofluorocarbons
Or, in practical terms, Shut the damn refrigerator door! |
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U. S. NEWS |
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As House Republicans Flee from
Trump, His Campaign Manager
Accuses Them of Sexually
Assaulting Women Themselves
Democrats fear all of this only a dream,
soon they will wake up to reality. |
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Department of Transportation's
Road to Zero Campaign Hopes
To Eliminate All Traffic Deaths
Within 30 Years
Even if that means eliminating all
traffic. |
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REMINDER |
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Apologize if anyone is
offended by your racism and misogyny. |
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LA Times: Trump Re-Energizing
White Supremacist Groups
Also, tax-evaders, global warming
deniers, sexual predators. |
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POLITICS |
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Wikileaks Release of Emails
Reveals Clinton Campaign
Consumed by Politics
Rather than more important things, like Miss
Universe's weight. |
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