| |
 SAUDI KING
ABDULLAH: TERRORISM
“WORK OF THE
DEVIL”
Doesn't say if kingdom
will continue funding it. |
|
| |
| U. S. NEWS |
 |
Frist Thanks DeLay For Getting
In Even Worse Trouble
DeLay thanks Rove. |
|
Poll: Americans Becoming
Ruder
Virtually all of them refuse to answer
“even the simplest of
questions,” complain pollsters. |
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
|
Saddam's Lawyers Prepare
Twinkie Defense
Will say too much baklava led to genocide. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
| |
 Number of
Marchers in Million
Neo- Nazi March Disputed
Neo-nazis say one million, police
say eleven. |
|
|
 |
OUR MAN IN HELL
by Richard Nixon |
| Word of the
president's problems is
not playing well down
here. Junior's been on
the defensive ever since
that bozo he hired turned
New Orleans into, well, this
place. |
| He's sitting on a massive
deficit, an unwinnable
war and poll numbers that
look like Truman's in
1952 (which were lower
than mine ever were!).
Normally I'd say,
"Burn the
tapes!" But there's
the rub. |
| So, here's what he has to
do: resign. That's right.
Get out. But not before
dictating a carefully
worded pardon to Cheney.
Next year, during the
Super Bowl, say, he can
release a one-sentence
announcement to the wire
services. |
| In other words, it's
over. Once they turn on
you they're like ravenous
weasels. Better to enjoy
your later years with a
nice fat book deal and
wait to be rehabilitated
after the next guy, or
gal, screws up. Gotta go.
John and Martha Mitchell
are coming over for a
barbecue. |
| (Mr. Nixon appears
courtesy Hades News
Service.) |
|
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