 MODERATE WINS IN IRAN
Many scheduled to have their hands chopped
off due to traffic violations will now only lose
three fingers. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Honduras Named World's Murder Capital
At bullet-riddled ceremony in Tegucigalpa. |
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 London: Restaurant
Serves Food Using Remote- Controlled Helicopters
No more waiters' thumbs in your soup. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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“Tweet” Added to Oxford
English Dictionary
Dropped: “wit”, “thoughtfulness”,
“depth”, “understanding” and
hundreds of other archaic words. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Feds Tracking All U.S. Calls,
But Not Listening In
According to Ministry of Truth. |
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Sequester Forces Supreme
Court Layoffs
Justices Breyer, Alito sent home. |
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Obama Urges Vigorous Public Debate
About Government Surveillance
In closed session of Congress. |
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| REMINDER |
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Dystopian future is the new normal. |
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Coverup Alleged in State Department Investigation
of Diplomats Hiring Prostitutes
Taxpayers indifferent to diplomats having sex, they just
don't like paying for it. |
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Leak Scandal Threatens to
Blow Lid Off Everything
Everyone will know everything, fear experts. |
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