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THINGS
IMPROVING IN GULF
Life returns to normal. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Israel Eases Embargo
To Allow Snack Food
Knesset to rule on hors
d'oeuvres next week. |
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Month-Long Hooligan Gathering
Kicks Off in South Africa
Some soccer fans may also attend. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Government Deploys Drones
To Patrol U.S.-Mexico Border
Operated remotely from Afghanistan. |
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 Blagojevich
Corruption Trial Opens
Just in time for summer doldrums. |
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| MILESTONES |
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War in Afghanistan Now Third
Longest in U.S. History
Trails only War on Drugs, War on Poverty. |
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| Hi there. I thought I'd pen a few lines
to let you know what's been on my mind
lately. First of all, the World Cup. Just
kidding. Of course it's the tragic accident
in the gulf, which we are doing our very
utmost to rectify, hopefully in time to see
England redeem itself for that Godawful
goalie's catastrophic blunder in our match
against you lucky Yanks and assume
our rightful place atop the football universe! |
| Cheerio! |
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