Ironic Times

 NO. 298 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 29 - JUNE 4, 2006 

May 22
June 5
 
BLAIR VISITS BUSH AT WHITE HOUSE
They discuss fixing intel to justify bombing Iran.
 
WORLD NEWS
Bush Compares Present Era to
Cold War

Except this time we're the Soviet Union.
Prime Minister Says Iraq's Troops Almost Ready to Do Battle
With U.S. troops.
 
LIFESTYLE
RV Ownership at Record Highs
Credit given to FEMA.
 
POLITICS
Once-United GOP Beginning to Fracture (see chart below)
U. S. NEWS
House Calls FBI Raid of
Congressman's Office Violation
Of Separation of Powers

Will pass law prohibiting practice, which Bush will approve, adding signing statement that he doesn't have to abide by it.
NSA Wiretapping Yielding Results
So far, 20 million cheating spouses have been identified.
Arizona Ballot Measure Would
Give $1 Million to Lucky Voter

Winner could then afford to run for office.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
House, Senate Agree on Immigration Bill
Fifty more immigrant crossing signs will be posted in border states.
  FACTION VALUES
    Old Money Conservatives   Establish permanent plutocracy
    Christian Right   Bring Jesus into schools, government, dating
    Big Corporate Interests   Make tax cheating more convenient
    Homophobes   Make nation safe for hate crimes
    Xenophobes   Construct giant wall around entire country, give border guards shoot-to-kill orders
    Prairie Independents   Destroy all regulatory agencies, rape environment
    War Hawks   Make world into freedom-loving mini-Americas through unrestrained use of military power
    Traditionalists   Restore routine corruption, bribery, influence peddling to former place of honor
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