 FRANCE: MACRON WINS!
Even though the French hate Macron. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Report: Many Key Putin
Allies Have Died, Been
Jailed, or Disappeared
“But not one of them has quit,”
says his new spokesman. |
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Brazil: Bolsonaro Encouraging
Further Development in Amazon
Calls “lungs of the earth”
“bug-infested eyesore.” |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Tucker Carlson Promoting
a Light Therapy Cure for Declining Male Virility
Ask your ward psychiatrist if Tucker's
Testicle Tanner will work for you. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Florida Judge Overturns CDC
Mask Mandate on Planes
Already reports of unruly passengers
who refuse to remove their mask. |
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Report: Mark Meadows Was
Warned About Illegality of
Scheme to Overturn Election
In grade school. |
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| REMINDER |
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Prioritize your existential threats. |
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Marijuana Sales Become
Legal in New Jersey
Lines already forming outside Bada
Bing! dispensary in Newark. |
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| POLITICS |
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 CPAC to Hold Conference
in Hungary
North Korea was all booked. |
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