OBAMA TAKES CAMPAIGN
ON THE ROAD |
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| With no Secret Service protection. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Unpopular Sarkozy, Facing Difficult Runoff,
Removes $72,000 Watch Before Shaking Hands
at Rally
Attended mainly by pickpockets. |
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| POLLS |
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Romney, Obama in Statistical
Dead Heat
If election were held today, Romney would win, 5-4. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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 Marijuana
Vending Machines to Debut Soon
Just swipe your card, make your choice and
— voilá! — you're under arrest. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Military Ramps Up Defenses
Against Cyber Attacks
First phase of War on Nerds. |
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F-35 Joint Strike Force Fighter Hundreds
of Billions Over Budget, Plagued by On
Board Computer Glitches, Cracks in
Structural Components, Troubles With
Electrical System
Other than that, everything A-ok. |
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| REMINDER |
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Shoot first, claim self-defense later. |
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Navy's Next Destroyer to Be
Named U.S.S. Lyndon Johnson
It will patrol Vietnamese coast, hoping to get fired on. |
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| POLITICS |
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Romney Says He'd End Tax
Deductions for People Who
Own Second Homes
Ending deductions for third homes, however,
is “off the table.” |
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