| WORLD NEWS |
| TRUMP CALLS KIM ROCKET MAN; KIM
CALLS TRUMP MENTALLLY DERANGED |
DOTARD
Trump vs. Kim added to Wrestlemania XXXIV. |
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| RELIGION |
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Christian Numerologist Says
World Will End Sept. 23rd
That's last Saturday for those of you still
hunkered down in bomb shelters. |
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| PICTURE OF THE WEEK |
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Millionaires, Billionaires Gather
to Celebrate Forbes' 100th Birthday
Each receives complimentary copy of magazine. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Republicans Hope for Vote
On Cassidy-Graham
Healthcare Bill This Week
Need just fifty-one Senators with no pre-existing conditions. |
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Trump Ramps Up North Korea Sanctions
Bars sale of all Trump-branded products to rogue regime. |
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| REMINDER |
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Stand for the anthem, kneel before Trump. |
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GOP Congressman Defends Trump's
Tweets: He's Just A Fun Guy
Doesn't really want to start WWIII. |
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HHS Secretary Price Took Charter Flights
Dozens of Times for Government Business
Just trying to keep up with the Mnuchins, he quips. |
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| PUBLISHING |
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After 50 Years, Rolling Stone
Up for Sale
Possible buyer: AARP. |
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