| PEOPLE |
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 At United Nations,
Trump Refers to Non-Existent Nation of “Nambia”
Experts think he might have meant Gambia, or
he might have meant Namibia, or he might have
meant Narnia, but he probably meant Brigadoon. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Revealed: Equifax Hackers Entered
System in March, Remained Undetected
for Months
Played games, raided fridge, took office
supplies, generally made a mess of things. |
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Walmart Offering Deliveries
When You're Not Home
Just leave the key under the doormat with a sign
“Walmart” and it's there when you
return to file a police report. |
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 Toys 'R' Us Files for
Bankruptcy Protection
Just as Mattel debuts Bankruptcy Lawyer Barbie. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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 After Outcry, Original Trix
With Artificial Colors Returns
Company spokesperson: “How many
times do you have to hear it — “Trix is for kids!” |
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| SCIENCE |
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Report: Amazon's “Frequently
Bought Together” Feature Displays
Bomb-Making Ingredients
Explaining North Korea's rapid development of H-bomb. |
| |
 Trigonometry
Detected in 3,700-Year-Old Babylonian
Tablet
Translation reveals constantly
recurring phrase, “I hate trigonometry.” |
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| LEXICOGRAPHY |
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“Troll,” “Alt-Right,”
“Ransomware” Added to Webster's Dictionary
After an alt-right troll blackmails Webster's. |
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