THIS WEEK IN IRONY
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Ironic Times

 NO. 346 “Expect the Ironic” APRIL 30 - MAY 6, 2007 

Apr 23
May 7
 
BUSH TAKES BACK TENET'S PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF FREEDOM
Shown: in brief ceremony, award is removed.
 
WORLD NEWS
Iraq: Three-Month-Old Surge Working
Based on quarterly profits of companies owned by major Bush campaign contributors.
Putin: U.S. Talk of Missile Shield To Deter Terrorists “Hilarious”
Only thing that’s made him laugh in years.
 
IRONIC TIMES EXCLUSIVE:
   ABSTINENCE ONLY PROGRAM REPORT:
U. S. NEWS
Report: FDA Knew of Food Contamination, Did Nothing
Too busy suppressing results of clinical drug trials.
Monica Goodling Granted Immunity
She'll now be able to repeat “I can't recall” without fear of prosecution.
 
REMINDER
  Those who cannot remember Vietnam are condemned to repeat it.
 
White House Hopes Wolfowitz Scandal Will Distract From Gonzales Debacle
Counting on looming Rove scandal to distract from Wolfowitz.
Senate Authorizes Funds to Make America More Competitive in Math
Vote is 88-13.
  Program   Result
  Abstinence Only Birth Control   Works great if they’d only abstain
  Abstinence Only Drug Prevention   Excellent for those not addicted to drugs
  Abstinence Only Education   So much easier than teaching
  Abstinence Only Sports   No injuries reported
  Abstinence Only Diplomacy   War less complicated
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