Ironic Times

 NO. 296 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 15 - 21, 2006 

May 8
May 22
 
RUMSFELD:
Suddenly realizes he invaded wrong country.
WORLD NEWS
U.S. Second-to-Last Among Developed Nations in Infant Mortality
White House proudly points out we're ahead of Latvia.
Secret British Defense Ministry
Study: UFO's Don't Exist

Ultra-secret study: they do exist.
U.S. Tells UN It Does Not Use Torture
Joke gets scattered laughs.
 
POLLS
63% Approve of NSA Monitoring
Their Phone Calls

Same number approve of random cavity searches.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Bush: Brother Jeb Would Make “Great President”
As would brothers Marvin, Neil, sister Doro, niece Noelle.
U. S. NEWS
Bush: Domestic Spying Not Widespread
If you've never made a phone call you have nothing to worry about.
Administration Unveils Planned Response to Flu Pandemic
Will bomb Iran.
Secret Service Logs: Abramoff
Entered White House Only Twice

Exited 249 times.
 
REMINDER
  One man's earmark is another man's pork.
 
Sailors, Airmen Being Trained
As Foot Soldiers in Iraq

To do things they thought they'd avoided by joining Navy, Air Force.
Bush in Discussions About His Presidential Library
Already off the table: a reading room.
 
EDUCATION
Colleges Report Sharp Drop in Applicants' SAT Scores
So-called “Dumb and Dumber” generation now graduating high school.
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