Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 15 - 21, 2006
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ADVERTISING
Product Placement Spotted in Latest Bin Laden Video
Companies “emphatically deny” any involvement.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Report: Movie Studios Employing Dogs to Detect Pirated DVD's
So far they've led authorities to illegal copies of Lassie Come Home, Rin Tin Tin, and Old Yeller.
 
BUSINESS
Newspaper Readership Declines
According to latest blogs.
Disney-McDonald's Alliance Ends
Accuse each other of contributing to downfall of Western Civilization.
Korea Introduces Life-Like Female Android
Human in every way, except she loves to cook and hates shopping.
SCIENCE
Study: Earth's Magnetic Field Declining Rapidly
Public urged to tape pictures to refrigerator.
12 Species of Flies Added to Endangered List
If we're not careful, say experts, many annoying bugs will disappear forever.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Bad News: Certain Ecological
Disaster if Ice Cap Melts

Good news: certain box office hit for any movie about it.
 
CORRECTION
Photos at right, taken after a speech at an environmental event, were misidentified as "Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert climbing into a high mileage, eco-friendly hydrogen-powered vehicle to drive home (left) and an unidentified man climbing out of a similar model to drive home in his comfortable, gas-guzzling SUV." In fact, the "unidentified man" is also Dennis Hastert, who traded vehicles a few blocks away from the event. We apologize for any confusion.

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