| GUNS: TRUMP CALLS FOR MODEST
TIGHTENING OF |
 BACKGROUND CHECKS,
ARMING TEACHERS
Right: teachers in Florida select a weapon on their way to class. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Russia Denies Assassinations,
Election Meddling
Denies it's a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. |
|
U.S. Drops to 18th Among
Happiest Countries
Soars to first among Nutsiest Countries. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
|
 Stormy Daniels Offers
to Return $130,000 Hush Money
Mostly in ones and fives. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Republican Report on Russia
Finds No Collusion
All depends on what definition of “no” is. |
|
Trump Fires Cabinet Member Who
Called Him “Fucking Moron”
Not the one who called him “dumber-than-dirt
douchebag” or the one who called him
“shit-for-brains asswipe.” |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
You're only as smart as your phone. |
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Report: Trump Wants Right
To Send Secret Service to
Polling Stations During Election
To prevent meddling by non-Russians. |
|
Pentagon Pitches More Modest
Parade Than Trump Wanted,
Without Tanks
Or goosestepping. |
|
Every Homeless Veteran Could
Be Fed for Cost of Trump's Military Parade
With enough left over to feed every homeless
ex-White House staffer. |
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