| |
 KAGAN SWORN IN,
HAZING BEGINS
After taking oath, discovers hand
glued to bible. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Al Qaeda Plans English Language Newspaper
Hiring suicide bombers as delivery boys. |
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Iran Bans Mullet
Except for mullahs. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
At University of Georgia, Nation's
Top Party School, “Thursday
Is the New Friday”
Also, Tuesday is the new Monday. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Feds Admit Storing Airport
Checkpoint Body Scan Images
Don't worry, only the really hot ones. |
|
 Dogs Granted
Right to Marry
But not gay dogs. |
|
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
Ground Zero Mosque an Affront
To Americans, Say Some
Insults our long history of religious
intolerance. |
|
Cost of War on Terror Placed
At $1.15 Trillion
Public terrified. |
|
Most Americans Polled Think
They
Married the Right Person
This time, but not the last time or the
time before that. |
| |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
Refudiate
ignorance. |
|
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| |
|
New York City Has 650,000
Millionaires
50,000 of them living on the streets. |
| |
| POLITICS |
|
Midterms: Republicans Hope
To Gain Control of House
“Then you'll really see some
inaction,” says one. |
|
Hollywood Conservatives
Gather
Dennis Miller, Jon Voigt, Gary Sinise,
three others have lunch. |
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