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BUSH LOSES ONLY REMAINING
CONSTITUENCY
Christian evangelical infants. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Good News: Faster Iraq Troop
Withdrawals
Bad news: faster Afghanistan troop
deployments. |
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First Medal Awarded at Beijing Olympics
China takes gold in Dissident Throw. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Mystery of
Northern Lights Solved
They're created by
hippies with a projector. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Hoped-for Economic Rebound
Fueled By Tax Rebates Fails to
Materialize
Rebates spent mostly on barrels,
suspenders. |
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Congress Goes on Vacation
Along with lobbyists, escort services. |
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Sen. Stevens Entitled to Speedy Trial,
Presumption of Innocence
Constitution back in vogue for GOP. |
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| REMINDER |
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Don't
consume more than 1200
carbon credits per day. |
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Homeless Population Drops By
30%
Many have become squatters in foreclosed
homes. |
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California Bans Trans Fats
Texas offers to take them. |
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Revealed: Secret Justice
Dept. Torture Memo
Says anyone who reveals it will be
tortured. |
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