Ironic Times

 NO. 183 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 15 - 21, 2004 

Mar 8
Mar 22
 
PRESIDENT TAKES QUESTIONS FROM 9/11 PANEL
But has difficulty hearing them.
 
WORLD NEWS
White House Points to Progress
In Iraq

Says country will soon have democratically elected leader, like Haiti.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Krispy Kreme to Offer
Low-Calorie Doughnut

The oxymoron will be available soon.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Treasury Dept. Issues First One Million Dollar Bill
For the convenience of the Bush reelection campaign.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Campaign Criticized for
“Shameless” Use of 9/11
Images in Commercials

Apologizes, replaces them with clips from The Passion of the Christ.
Deficit to Exceed $500 Billion
$2000 per family member will be charged to your credit card.
 
REMINDER
   The universe is expanding at
   an ever-increasing rate, but you
   don't have to.
 
Boston Archdiocese Sues
Insurance Co. For $85 Million
In Sex Abuse Claims

Unfortunately, somebody has to win.
Justice Dept. Demands to See
Records At Women's Health Clinics

Wants to destroy anything relating to recent gun purchases.
 
POLITICS
Bush Accuses Kerry of Flip-Flopping
Kerry accuses Bush of flopping.
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