Ironic Times

 NO. 184 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 22 - 28, 2004 

Mar 15
Mar 29
  REPORT: GLOBAL WARMING GREATER THREAT THAN TERRORISM
  Obesity greater threat than global warming.
  Top 10 Threats: 
 
1.   Same-sex marriage
2.   On-air indecency
3.   Steroids
4.   Illegal file sharing
5.   Martian attack
6.   Return of communism
7.   Return of the living dead
8.   Obesity
9.   Global warming
10.   Terrorism
  (Statistics courtesy Department of Defense.)
 
WORLD NEWS
Bush Administration Wants Interim Governing Council for Spain
Appointed body would arrange for elections by 2005.
Poll: Two-Thirds of Pakistanis Have Favorable View of Bin Laden
Mostly from watching Fox News.
 
LIFESTYLE
Activists Turned Away at White House
Group advocating same-sex clothing-optional marriages is told they will not be able to meet with the President.
U. S. NEWS
Kerry Enjoys Big Lead Among Voters Who Snowboard
All two of them.
Administration Hawks Celebrate
First Anniversary of War in Iraq

At lavish costume party, they all dress up like real soldiers, play with guns.
Worker Laid Off Last Week Wins
$89 Million Powerball Lottery

Another sign of improving prospects for the unemployed.
 
REMINDER
   You can fool all of the people just
   about all of the time.
 
Report: Bush Campaign Gear
Made in Myanmar

By American POWs.
Latest White House Appointment
Raises Eyebrows

Bush choice to head Henhouse Protection Agency is former president of FoxCo, a company with a long history of hostility toward hens.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Pentagon Recalls 30,000 Nuclear Warheads
Faulty trigger mechanism can activate chain reaction without warning.
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