Ironic Times

 NO. 155 "Expect the Ironic" SEPTEMBER 1 - 7, 2003 

Aug 25
Sept 8
BUSH RETURNS FROM WORKING VACATION
Begins vacation.
 
WORLD NEWS
Latest Theory: Saddam Sent
Defectors to Trick U.S. Into
Thinking Iraq Had WMDs

So we'd invade, depose him, kill his family.
Blair Testifies He'd Have
Resigned if Guilty of
Exaggerating WMD Evidence

Therefore, he claims, he must be innocent.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study Ties Biggest CEO Raises to Largest Layoffs, Most Underfunded Pension Plans, Offshore Tax Avoidance
Simple case of merit pay, say companies.
100,000 Flock to Wisconsin for Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary
Week-long bike and beer blast attended by four Hells Angels, 99,996 accountants.
U. S. NEWS
“Black” or Classified Defense Spending Soars to $23.2 Billion
$10 billion for “this and that,” $7.5 billion for “whatever,” rest for “don't ask.”
Harris Poll: California #1 Place
Americans Would Like to Live

Not polled: those who already
live there.
 
 
REMINDER
    School is open, wear a bullet-
    proof vest.
 
WorldCom Receives $1 Billion “Sweetheart” Pentagon Contract
Will rebuild Iraq’s system of accounting fraud.
Record High Gas Prices on
Labor Day Weekend

Due to “price gouging,” says owner of Honest Ed’s gas station in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.
 
FACTOID
Cars, Trucks in U.S. Now
Outnumber Drivers

Explains growing number of empty vehicles crashing into each other.
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