Ironic Times

 NO. 79 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 18 - 24, 2002 

Mar 11
Mar 25
RIDGE
HELD UP

A red-faced Head of Homeland Security is robbed outside his home.
U. S. NEWS
Bush: "We Will Reduce the
Nucular Arsenal"

"But not the nuclear arsenal," an aide clarifies.
Norton Predicts Drilling in Alaska Will Create 700,000 Jobs
100 to drill for oil, 699,900 to bury the caribou.
 
WORLD NEWS
Survey: Half the World Undernourished
The other half obese.
Bush Building Coalition Unity
Nearly everybody against invading Iraq.
Israelis, Palestinians Wipe
Each Other Out
Only peacekeepers remain.
Mugabe Wins in Zimbabwe
Credits victory to whistle-stop campaign of terror.
U.S. Named to Iraq's Axis of Evil
Great Britain, Israel round out group.
SHADOW PRESIDENT
Henry A. Visconti, 53, b. Fort Worth, Texas. No other information is available at this time.
SHADOW VICE PRESIDENT
Ollan Parr, 67, b. Detroit, Michigan. Once ran a lumber company.
SHADOW SECRETARY OF STATE
Michael S. Cravelle, 60, n/a. Private investigator.
SHADOW SECRETARY OF DEFENSE
n/a.
SHADOW SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Newt Gingrich, 58, b. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Politician, lecturer.
(Information provided by Shadow Government Printing Office.)
FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE

   Copyright 2002 Ironic Times