Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - MARCH 18 - 24, 2002 
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BUSINESS
America's Saber-Rattling Making Some Folks Nervous
But not the folks down at A-1 Sabers.
Andersen May Fold as
Accounting Firm

But could continue as financial advisor to international drug cartels.
 
 
Senate Mulls Constitutional Amendment
Text of proposed 28th Amendment:
"An unregulated automobile industry being necessary to the comfort of its executives and their servants in Congress, the right of the people to keep and bear pickup trucks and SUV's, regardless of fuel efficiency, shall not be infringed."
 
Most U.S. Companies Changing
Their Names

Just in case.
Widgron, Formerly American Widget, Announces Huge 4th-Quarter Revenues
Widget derivatives, offshore partnerships credited despite weak domestic market.
SCIENCE
Man Descended
From Birds?

No conclusions were reached at weekend conference, although a good time was had by all.
Upgraded Hubble Telescope Sends Back "Startling" Pictures
Too frightening for the public to see; they will be classified.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Body Piercing Linked to Risky Behavior in Teens
Having strangers stick needles through your nipples may lead to less sensible activities.
 
PEOPLE
Dr. Kevorkian Gets New
Job in Prison

Administering lethal injections to capital offenders.
Winona Ryder Caught Shopping
Doesn't she know that hat's too big for her?

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