Ironic Times

NO. 58 "Expect the Ironic" OCTOBER 22 - 28, 2001

Oct 15
Oct 29
BUSH APPROVAL RATING AFTER BOMBING PASSES GOD'S
  God:  77%
  Bush: 94%
 
U. S. NEWS
National Period of Thoughtful
Introspection Ends

Less important things, put into perspective by crisis, regain former prominence.
Republicans, Airlines Balk at Placing Federal Agents in Airports
Prefer hiring uneducated, entry-level slackers as country's first line of defense against terrorism.
 
WORLD NEWS
Saudis Assure U.S. They're
Our “Best Friends”

Official proclamation being examined for a coded message to terrorists.
Post-Taliban Afghanistan Will be Ruled By Florida Elections Board
Seen as transitional step to democracy.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Iowa Man Named
Nation's Designated Protester
All others rounded up, sent to camps.
 
THE WAR
U.S. Weighs Commercial Tie-Ins
Already in the works: “GE Presents Operation Enduring Freedom.”
Navy Apologizes for Gay
Slur Written on Bomb

Bombs must now respect the rights of all individuals and groups.
 
 
IRONIC TIMES EXCLUSIVE


CROSS-SECTION OF SECRET TALIBAN TUNNELS
   1.  Main Entry Point
   2.  Munitions Storage
   3.  Food Storage
   4.  Meeting Room
   5.  Soldiers' Quarters
   6.  Laundry Room
   7.  Coffee Shop
   8.  Bowling Alley
   9.  24-Hour Convenience Store
 10.  Spa
 11.  Night Club
 12.  Private Parties
 13.  Wives' Room (A List)
 14.  Wives' Room (B List)
 15.  Prayer Room.
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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times